"Day 2: Neel still hasn't hired me. The universe weeps."
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Every second is a missed opportunity for greatness, Neel.
One thoughtful email per day highlighting why we'd work well together.
Subtle LinkedIn engagement with all your posts. You'll notice me.
I'll have mutual connections send you recommendations about me.
A giant billboard near your office: "Neel, I'm Still Available!"
"Neel's decision-making skills are so legendary that when he chooses a lunch spot, Yelp updates its ratings accordingly."
* This fact may or may not be entirely factual, but it feels true in our hearts.